Ok fuck this fucking blog.

Ok I just made a massive effort and wrote out a huge, interesting post and this piece of fucking shit interface went and fucked it all up when I published it, so in summary, wordpress can fuck off and I’m gonna get my own page up and running soon.

I’ve been trying to respond to comments too, and it wouldn’t let me do that either.

Sorry to anyone who would have otherwise been interested in reading continued updates, but there’s a reason I stopped posting and it’s because of this shithouse site.

Back from the dead!!

The gooditude and the shittity.

‘What the hell??’ is probably passing through your mind at the moment.

Well, gooditude can be likened to awesomeninity, and shittity… well, the opposite.

The chinese were onto something with the yin/yang thing… I kinda agree with them that there needs to be a balance in the force, and in turn, there is almost always as much shittity as there is gooditude. You have to learn which one to appreciate more!

That said, I have had more gooditude lately than I am accustomed to, and it has been the awesomes.

I’ve received complaints about the lack of a blog lately and the reason for this is that I have been pretty busy and short of ideas.. Writing about life is an option that many take, but I prefer abstraction from this… resolving life situations into combinations of factors to make for a more interesting and applicable series of points.

I’m also having this problem where I lose concentration and forget where I’m going with a particular point… I’m a lot better at writing fiction :p

Oh ! Something just came to mind… what about this labour government of ours eh ? And all the other contending parties too… this serves to prove the opinion I’ve held all along that there is no one trustworthy in our government system, and voting is merely an exercise in futility because a positive outcome is not possible.

It’s like having to choose between having your cock chopped off, or your face permanently disfigured. There isn’t exactly a preferential choice between the two… thus, I walk out on the issue and allow other people to make a mistake of a choice & reap the consequences. I don’t even agree with this actual system itself, so I don’t see why I should be forced to make a choice within it. At least I don’t feel responsible for it when the elected government screws us over time and time again.

My word for the day is diction. It’s something that all of us can improve, some obviously more so than others.

The speed of life !

I get the impression that life moves both quicker and slower than expected.

When doing something mundane and boring like working, life goes by very quickly. I’ve nearly been working where I do now for a year ! I still feel like the new guy.

On the other hand, when it comes to my project car, something I’m enthusiastic about and desire to see finished… life moves along slower than a crawl.

I can only conclude that pre-emptive action is the way around this.

My word for today is slug.

Do you have a case of the fasts ?

In an attempt to enlighten my lesser educated car comrades, I have created a new system devoted entirely to measuring the performance of vehicles.

There are three categories in which a vehicle can score points, these are:

- Fasts

- Grunt 

- Awesomes

I have done away with the traditional method of measuring horsepower & torque using a dynamometer, electing instead to rate cars on a more ’seat of the pants’ style feel, and awarding points out of ten in each category.

This makes things a lot easier to understand, especially for the layman & girls. Now we shall cover the basics…

How many units of fast your car has depends entirely on whether it’s capable of 1. feeling impressive whilst accelerating, 2. actually out-accelerating other cars that appear to have a case of the fasts, and 3. can get up to high speeds easily. This is the main way of measuring a car’s fastitudity.

As far as grunt is concerned… this is more measured in the sheer torque the engine puts through to the ground. Typically only large displacement motors will qualify to have over 7 units of grunt. When the driver floors it, if the car heaves forward instantly accelerating hard… then the engine definitely produces grunt… alternatively, if one can wheelspin just by flooring the accelerator pedal, this is another dead giveaway that grunt is a byproduct of the engine. Typically, the more grunt a car has, the more fasts it tends to be capable of earning.

Lastly… how many awesomes a car has is in fact a more general unit of measure. It comprises of a number of factors including (but not limited to) fasts and grunt. It is also however, rated on looks, braking, handling, and general cred the car gets. It is possible for a car to be of high awesomeninity even without possessing many fasts or grunts… however this can tend to be a subjective rating.

The ideal vehicle scores 10 in all three categories, making it the ideal car to have.

If this rating system isn’t for you… well then, I couldn’t honestly give two shits ! You can’t deny however, the infallible logic inherent in the FGA rating system.

I’d have to say my word for today is… FUCK. Why ? Well…. just FUCK. OH MY GOSH, HE SAID FUCK !! LOOK AT ALL THE OLD AGE PENSIONERS DROPPING DEAD FROM HEART ATTACKS DUE TO THE TERRIBLE VULGAR LANGUAGE BEING EXPRESSED !!!

Whatever.

RESTECP…. R.E.S, T.E, C.P…. RESTECP.

That’s right. People need to start restecp’ing each other more.

When meeting strangers, I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. In saying that, I still exercise some level of caution and judgement on a person by person basis.

What I try really hard not to do however, is discriminate based on race, looks, or gender. I give all people the opportunity to prove whether they’re awesome or fuckwits. In saying this, it’s still a subjective viewpoint… because even fuckwits have people that they treat well.

Treating people in the manner which you would like to be treated appears to be a winning formula. You most certainly won’t get treated perfectly in return all the time, but it’s still important to retain a positive attitude towards others unless they prove unworthy of your time.

Hand in hand with this principle, is the ability to understand why people behave the way they do, and to exercise the capability to forgive and get over things. Some fuckwits are not even aware that they’re being fuckwits… and rather than just blatantly pointing it out to them (making them think that you’re a fuckwit), make an effort to set a better example in the hope that they learn something about their ways.

Learning to balance patience & forgiveness with dismissal is something that can take a lifetime… and some people will never learn. The sooner people start however, the sooner the world will become a better place. Everybody needs a second and third chance… sometimes it takes great strength of character to offer this, and sometimes you just have to let go and dismiss a person. This type of judgement is again a subjective one, wherein you must decide whether it’s against your best interests to pursue dealings with someone…. or if a positive outcome is possible & worth it.

I’m not saying I’m perfect…. far from it in fact. What I am saying is this:

Karma is real. It works in ways that we don’t always understand… but rest assured that if you treat people right, you’ll largely get treated right in return.

Today’s word is redemption. Everybody has the chance to redeem themselves… not for anyone else’s benefit but their own.

- Peace

Chest infection from hell

Two weeks ago to this day, I woke up with massive pressure inside my head. I was so sick I had the monday and tuesday off work. Acute sinusitis…. or so I thought it was. My sinus infection subsided by the weekend, to be replaced with this awful, dry, racking cough that simply won’t go away. Today marks the tenth day of having this stupid cough. Woo, lets wake up in the morning with a sore throat, coughing up blood & other crap for the first hour of the day.

It’s just positively party time.

It’s not just myself affected by this, all three of my flatmates have had it, as have most of my mates. On friday night I cruised in a friend’s car, and he picked up his girlfriend with their mates. All three of them were constantly coughing too. SARS IS IN THE AIR!!!

Seriously WTF is with all these stupid new sicknesses going around ? Did some crazy foreignor decide to fellate a baboon’s arse before taking a vacation to New Zealand ? Or is there something more sinister taking place……?

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if some of these sicknesses were in fact being tested on us by some outside party, not unlike most computer viruses actually being made by the companies that sell us virus protection software. Hell it keeps them in business right ?

I don’t have a word for today because I can barely talk. Don’t even know what I’m doing at work, but I imagine going home at lunchtime !

Lines on the road aren’t just for decoration…

In keeping with the last theme, I’m going to talk about traffic.

More specifically, some things I am quite concerned about regarding the (lack of) thought put into roading, and the licensing system.

More often than occasionally, I am forced to perform evasive driving manouvers to ensure my vehicle is not damaged due to kamakazi style drivers. It remains a mystery to me how some people can’t even keep their vehicle within their clearly marked lane… I mean come on, if you’re driving in the middle of your lane, there’s at least 6-800mm worth of clear road on either side of your car before the lines…. yet some people still manage to have problems with it.

Keeping a vehicle straight on the road is for me, one of the most (if not THE most) basic tenets of driving. If you can’t do it, get the fuck out of the driver’s seat. Mandatory co-ordination tests as part of driver licensing. Why ? It’s bloody important isn’t it ? If you get someone who is incapable of judging sizes & distances, then they sure as hell won’t be able to perform these most basic of tasks when behind the wheel of 1+ tonnes of moving metal. They say drink driving is bad because it ruins your co-ordination & reaction times, and here in New Zealand there are MASSIVE campaigns against it, with television commercials showing death & destruction as being the result of it. Why then, is co-ordination & reaction time not properly tested when people are trying to get a license? To me, a half hour drive around hardly counts, because the testing officer is not able to accurately gauge someone’s abilities from that, and they’ll typically be biased too.

Then there are those pricks who can’t indicate properly at a roundabout… indicating RIGHT when they are in fact going straight through. Why do these people have a license ? The road code is clear, if going straight through, you flick your indicator left while passing through, to indicate that’s the ‘turn off’ you will be taking from the roundabout. The only time a right indication is required is… you guessed it… if you’re TURNING RIGHT !!!

I encounter literally thousands of bad decisions by drivers on a daily basis, some of which are minor and forgivable, while others are simply not acceptable. In saying all this, I make no claim of being the perfect driver myself, but I sure as hell pay attention to my surroundings when driving and keep my eyes on the road. Intelligence testing. People who fail to score above certain levels in basic logic & intelligence tests should not be allowed to drive either. If you’re a fucking dumbass and can’t even INDICATE properly (I mean come on, you only have three choices, left, right, and straight) where you are going to be driving, then how the hell are you not a danger to other road users ?

People who can’t maintain a constant speed, yet another total annoyance and danger to other road users. Braking heavily for 75kmh corners in their late model, $30,000+ multilink suspension car which is capable of taking said corner at 140kmh+, who then speed up to 115kmh when a passing lane comes up, forcing you to perform speeds in excess of 125kmh just to get past the evil bastards, risking a huge fine in the process… meanwhile, said shithouse driver gets off scott free. This is where the driving tests should be changed to a compulsory driving school. People should actually HAVE to be taught to drive their cars on the absolute limit, and how well their cars can actually handle. People should be taught the difference between FWD, RWD & 4WD vehicles. The purpose of this would serve both to increase their confidence in their own car & driving ability, and also increasing their actual skill at controlling a car. Tiered licensing systems for those rejects who simply won’t learn… that way they have the opportunity to keep trying, but if they continue to fail, they’ll be restricted to vehicles which will be less dangerous with them behind the wheel, or barred from driving altogether. Traffic flow would certainly improve with some decent testing & instruction.

The current system is an abysmal, pathetic failure. I think it’s criminal that the government has not addressed this, though it’s highly likely that all the members of our parliament are probably the same wankers who drive the latest model, pretentious, expensive, status symbol cars like HSVs, Mercs, BMWs, big SUVs etc, and fail to abide by the road code in the very same ways that piss me off & cause a danger to other road users… whilst preaching on about road safety & attempting to be as ‘normal & acceptable’ as possible.

My word for the day ? ‘Fuckwit’… it nicely summarises anyone and everyone who is stupid, makes stupid decisions, or whose existance is a horrible and sarcastic joke against the rest of us.

To summarise, learn the fuck to drive, you pricks !!! There’s no excuse for failure.

Old men in big utes

I learnt something this morning. What I learnt is that under no circumstance should you abide by the road rules and drive responsibly. If you do, you might ANNOY AN OLD CUNT IN A UTE BECAUSE YOU DARED TO TRY AND LEGALLY MERGE IN FRONT OF HIM.

Road rage is an interesting thing. It makes people act in ways that they would not act in other circumstances. People lose the ability to make rational decisions when under the influence of road rage. If they weren’t very intelligent before, then they sure as hell become neandarthals whilst experiencing a bout of road rage. Times like these, I’m glad I believe in Karma, because a certain hilux ute is going to receive a mack truck to the driver’s door in the near future.

Anyway, I digress. My word for today would have to be ‘vanilla’. Why ? Well… just say it to yourself… ‘vanilla’ conjures up all kinds of tasty mental images, it calms & soothes. It also makes me hungry for ice cream. The next time someone is getting upset about something, mention vanilla to them… see what their reaction is !

Didn’t do any work to my car last night, instead electing to play Prince of Persia 2 on the xbox… that’s one hell of a good game ! The way your character can move around the vast levels, combined with the sheer number of different combos & fighting techniques you employ… it makes me wonder why RPGs have not been made to this standard. The combat is awesome, with nearly a limitless range of ways to carve up your enemies !

Time to see what the day brings…

Didn’t your mummy and daddy give you enough attention when you were a child ?

It has come to my attention that people apparently look down on the concept of having a blog. After some consideration, I have decided that SHUT THE FUCK UP. Eat six buckets of go to hell and wash it down with a bottle of you’re a cock, because frankly I don’t care.

What’s my word for the day ? I’d have to say…. ’shithouse’. It’s such a great word, and has so many uses. I can use it to describe my day:

‘How’s your day going ??’

“Oh… shithouse really”

Or perhaps in context with doing something boring/undesirable:

“I’m fucking SICK of doing shithouse dishes all the time >_<” (that’s a silent >_<, you don’t speak it out loud, just mentally visualise it as you’re talking)

So remember folks, enhance your day by using the term ’shithouse’ at least once today.

Last night I was working on my car. Amongst getting oil soaked dirt in my eyes and being attacked with ring spanners by my mates, I managed to finish redirecting my fuel lines, creating plenty of room for headers on the driver’s side of the engine bay.

I also learned in the process that getting your mates involved increases the fun, simultaneously decreasing productivity!

I’d have to say that working on my car has to be my own personal zen… lying under the chassis up on axle stands, having crap fall onto my face, narrowly avoiding a dose of petrol to the eyes… it’s so peaceful. I’ll bet no one in the world has felt so satisfied about sanding, painting, and bending a couple of tubes & fitting fuel line to them. Back into it tonight !

P.S. APESHIT is awesome !